Forum > Gaming Parents?
No first hand knowledge, but I'd recommend checking out What They Play (especially the podcasts) and GamerDad - both of which are relevant to your interests
Trinnet
Hello, my name's Toerag, and I'm a gaming parent!
"Hello Toerag!"
My eldest daughter played WoW sporadically with friends throughout her University years, but still hasn't hit the level cap a year after graduating, so it doesn't seem to have destroyed her life and career.
My youngest 2 love the Wii, especially the Lego games, and have played them a lot. They loved watching Star Wars later, and finding there was a film series of their favouite game. The elder of these 2 is going to be 12 on April 1st, and she has been promised a CoH account on her birthday. She's been craving it for years now. Mostly for the dressing up box, though, I'd guess.
The computer the younger ones play on is next to mine, so they don't get a chance to sit alone and play. But then neither do I, so fair's fair.
Most times I agree with the vanhemlock and Jon attitudes to gaming parent stories. As long as my kids have a life away from computers, and don't end up trying to compete with Jon for achievements, I'm not concerned.
Dr Toerag
My whole family games, wife, son, myself. And while sometimes it causes some difficult nights, (I want to play the wii! or Lets do X quest! or If your hungry you make dinner!) the normal nights when we all can do our thing and have fun is great. The family that plays together, stays together.
As for how it effects my son. Well, home work needs to be done before games. And then chores as needed/required. If there is a new game he wants, It becomes a goal to earn it. He can do extra chores to earn cash and save up to get the game for himself. And if it is lost then it was his loss. Personal Responsibly, FTW!
Now, my wife and I are careful as to what games he plays. And the consoles are setup in the room with our PCs. And he has a Ddo account and a PC that can play it if he wants to join us.
And it helps with the things to talk about, he can ask me about my ddo characters and I can talk to him about how his game of the week is going. So we are not just talking about school and not much else.
If/when the government wants to step into my personal life and dictate how we life our life I would/will be angry. A faceless government is not better to teach personal responsibly then me, and that is what I am trying to teach every day using whatever tools i can get my hands on. Video games are great teaching tools, if handled right.
What else will make my son in to a man? Government nannies? I don't think so. That is my job, and they can stay the hell out of my personal life!
Samius
I am a gaming parent. My son is 15 years old and has recently developed a taste for games that I consider…. Less than appropriate. I learned the hard way that just because something is a cartoon, or a game, that this does not make it “ok” for kids.
I drew the line at Grand Theft Auto, going so far as to say: “You will not play this game while you live in my house.”
Recently we had a little bit of family drama when his dad helped him buy Dante’s Inferno, which I did not really approve of for the over the top baby-killer fight. I think that scene was nothing more than a publicity stunt by the makers of the game. With the market so saturated with sex, nudity, and violence, they crossed a line that would get them some attention. I thought it was a cheap, crass move.
I will say one thing… my son wrote a very good propaganda paper as an assignment for school and presented it to me. It was a letter meant to persuade me to allow him to purchase Modern Warfare 2.
The letter follows:
“Dear Mom,
I know you have reservations about letting me to play Modern Warfare 2. Allow me to set your mind at ease.
First, the game has realistic battle scenes and is said to be quite violent. However, I have played violent games before, and I am still pretty normal. See, I know the difference between right and wrong. I have YOU to thank for teaching me that. Just because I carry a heavy assault rifle into a combat situation in a video game (where I am playing a soldier) does not mean I will do this in real life. That would not even make sense.
Second, Modern Warfare 2 depicts a world where Russia is at War with the United States. Come on, seriously? This is a concern? Wars are expensive. If Russia had this kind of money we would still be fighting the Cold War. We may as well be fighting in space. However, because the battles are fought on our home turf, the game adds a level of realism that I am really looking forward to.
Lastly, I submit to you that video games like this one teach hand eye coordination and make the player pay attention o what is going on around him. You keep saying that I need to pay better attention! (Learning) Also, the game will mean more to me because I am paying for it with my own money. (Responsibility) I leave you with one final thought. If I am playing this game, I will not be bothering you. (Mutual benefits)
Your Son
Adam”
My son received a good grade on the assignment and his dad decided to allow him to buy the game as long as he got to play it as well.
While I realize that not every parent is informed and responsible, it does not mean that I should held accountable for someone else’s shortfall. Here is my question: Would tighter regulations really help? I don’t think so.
Lessah
There are two things I always try to remember when it comes to raising my son:
1, Anyone who thinks stuff like saying "games are bad for kids" can be answered by a simple yes or no probably have not understood how complex we humans are.
2, Just because I think something is right does not mean it is so. I might not realize the the complexity of how my child is affected by games, (or tomatoes for that matter).
I find this whole raising a child mission a hard thing. As a father to a 3-year old I am constantly evaluating and re-evaluating everything. There are seldom any huge changes, but things like how much and what may be watched on TV might be changed. I sort of end up in a thinking that the only way I can stay on top of things is to be on top of things. I got to watch the TV myself. Otherwise I really cant make up my mind, I would just guess. The same things goes for games. At three he does not play anything remotely violent or scary but I still want to know what he is up to. This is a thing I will continue to do. Sting informed is the only way I can make the decision. Otherwise I'll just end up in the old "saying no to everything is the only way to not x, y or z". And I'd hate to be that parent.
Another thing I think is important to do is to distinguish between real life and gaming. Real life always comes first. You always do the real life things first. This includes eating, potty, cleaning you room. Later it will be homework, mowing, trash - you all know the drill. This seems to me a good way of pointing out that games a playing. Not real, not really important. Just a way of hawing fun.
As my son gets older I think I'll continue this trend. I hope I can and don't get to lazy to.
PS: I realize I wrote 'I' all the time. I of course me mean and my better 3/4.
Akely
On the note of getting your kids to know what's important: Penny Arcade is spot on.
Akely
Something I did mention I wanted to know a few shows back, was the opinions and experiences of any listeners who consider themselves Gaming Parents.
Often on the news shows, we see similar stories come up with a certain regularity, revolving around the common themes of Age Ratings and Certification, the Corrupting Influences of Video Game Violence, and those rare unfortunate and very real tragedies that sometimes occur; tales of neglect and violent killings which get linked to computer gaming obsession, rightly or no.
These tend to kick up a tremendous fuss with the Jack Thompsons of the world (We have folks like him in the UK, just not quite as shoutey; Keith Vaz, at al.), the Fox News Exposes, and all manner of knee-jerk opinions which generally amount to 'Won't someone think of the Children!'
I personally find myself kicking off in the opposite direction when these things come up, but ultimately I suspect that I'm probably as guilty as the hysterical naysayers in my ill-informed lack of personal experiences with it all. I am not a father, and so am not really in a position to judge on such things. I try to apply common sense to all things, but this is very much a matter of perspective.
With this in mind, I am genuinely interested to understand how actual fathers and mothers who enjoy gaming view these issues. Would tighter regulations be a boon, or overkill? Are age-ratings of any practical use in day to day life? Do you have rules by which your children game? What lines are drawn about what they can and can't play, if any? How does parenting divide up your own gaming time, and are computer games things the whole family can enjoy?
(This is the Internet, so do be circumspect with details!)